You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
