dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She swung at the pinata with crutches
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
