Whod you bang
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The power of my boobs compel you
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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