I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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