similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
