Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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