you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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