I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
