If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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