My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
