Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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