ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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