How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Even my vagina gasped.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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