So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
