i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So squirting runs in the family.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
