allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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