I forgot how hot balto sounded
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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