fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
