epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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