remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
