I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
