so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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