I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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