Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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