I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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