Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
