I wanna passion pit in your ass
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
home. puking in laundry basket.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
