PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
