you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
