So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
