sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
