it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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