Who wears a wallet chain?!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
