I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
