Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
