its not stalking. its research.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
