I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
