Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
