Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Edward fifth and chaser hands
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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