This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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