She's JV to your varsity
It's like God shit irony all over that family
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
