were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
