my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Randomize
