I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
