i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
