What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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