I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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