this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
