Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
