I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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