how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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