i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
